He helped pick things out, helped put things away, helped get settled, and then he just kind of helped himself to staying around. Before long, Stephen realized, surprisingly, that he didn’t want Alex not to be there when he got home.

There wasn’t one lightning bolt moment where we declared, “This is it,” just a lot of little ones. Alex’s relentlessly positive, excited-about-everything energy slowly began to recalibrate Stephen’s more jaded approach to life. When bad news happens, Alex processes it and moves on almost instantly. Where Stephen sees potential inconvenience, Alex sees possibility. The effect was subtle but undeniable. Stephen was in a better mood almost every day, and people noticed.

Then came New York.

Stephen had a Delta companion ticket about to expire (romantic, right?) and decided that if he wanted a partner he could travel with, he might as well test the theory. We flew to New York for a whirlwind trip. We went to a museum that was, objectively, terrible. Instead of ruining the day, it became one of our favorite bonding moments. We wandered through room after room whispering about how deeply unimpressed we were. Somewhere between bad modern digital art and shared sarcasm, it clicked.

For Alex, that trip was when it felt like more than just dating. For Stephen, it confirmed something he already suspected. This works.

Since then, we’ve taken numerous trips, tried countless Raleigh restaurants, and adopted an adorable, incredibly furry, husky whom Stephen did NOT want, and Alex confidently refers to as “my dog.” At dinner, Alex is usually the one buzzing with excitement about the menu, ready to order and try everything. Stephen complains about the price. We almost always get different things so we can share. Alex might go along with Stephen’s restaurant suggestions, and then he will still absolutely be more enthusiastic about them.

Alex describes Stephen as deeply caring in ways most people don’t see. He shows love in quiet, steady actions, while Alex shows it by being visibly thrilled about everything from a new travel destination to a well-plated appetizer, thoughtful gifts, and remembering countless small moments most people miss.

One year after that first date, Stephen had an elaborate plan to propose on the rooftop of his office building, with friends helping behind the scenes. Unfortunately, Alex figured it out.

Alex is good at figuring things out.

The rooftop plan was scrapped, and a pivot ensued. Instead, Stephen arranged a surprise gathering at a friend’s house under the pretense of checking the mail while they were out of town. (Thank you, Katherine & Steve!) Alex knew something was happening that night but not exactly what it would be. When Stephen got down on one knee, Alex says it felt like time stopped. He cried. It was beautiful. It was exactly right. Stephen also thanks Mary Kaitland & Gene for not telling anyone when they just happened to be at Bailey’s when he bought the ring.

One of the greatest gifts in our relationship has been family. Alex’s parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and extended family welcomed Stephen from the very beginning. He’s vacationed with them, spent holidays in their homes, and been embraced with a warmth not every child or child-in-law is gifted. For Alex, seeing his family so genuinely happy about someone he brought home only confirmed what he already knew. This was the right decision.

Stephen’s story with family is more complicated. His parents have chosen not to be part of this chapter. But in their place stands a family of close friends who adore Alex and show up loudly and lovingly. The result will be a small wedding this summer, surrounded by relatives and people who have intentionally chosen to be part of our lives.

What we’re building is simple and joyful. More travel. More shared plates. More dogs. More music. More ordinary nights coming home to each other. Alex still sees everything as an adventure, and Stephen still pretends to be unimpressed. It works.